Tuesday 16th June
Darcy has a new game of let’s throw everything down the stairs I have been watching her quietly gather things one by one and casually walk over to the stairs and lob said object over the bannister. I should stop her, but she is so happy, and it means that she is not demanding my attention so I have decided to just let her crack on. Some would say that this is lazy parenting. I would respectfully disagree!
Update she has been bringing me 1 sanitary towel at a time for the last 20 mins…..didn’t even know I had that many sanitary towels
Wednesday 17th June
I’m not quite sure what has happened but Frank is flying through the schooling….we did an English lesson together and then I told him to take a break whilst I put Darcy to sleep. I had intended to do maths with him once the baby was asleep. I came out from putting her down for a sleep and he has voluntarily started his maths. Not just started it but very nearly finished the lesson. He tells me that he just wanted to get it out of the way so he could get on the switch!!!
Side note: Bravo Matt Hancock on slapping your cronies back when you arrived at work today – what an utter shit show!
Thursday 18th June
Can someone please explain how football can continue during lockdown? And who the fuck is cutting their hair???
Friday 19th June
I heard from the school today, they are trying to get as may kids back to school before the summer holidays as possible. I had been hopeful for him going back about 1-2 mornings a week and was prepared to take whatever I could get. They told me this morning that he could in fact go back 4.5 days of the week! It’s safe to say that he isn’t as thrilled as me!!
Saturday 20th June
Plumber is arriving at 8am to fit our new bathroom!
Sunday 21st June
Had a great Father’s day today made a boss roast beef with all the trimmings.
Monday 21st June
I had to take Darcy to get a covid-19 test today as she was running a fever all night. I am not one to overreact and usually happy to let a temperature ride itself out with a load of Calpol and fluids, but I felt compelled to get her tested in this instance as it is recommended with the symptoms she was displaying. So I booked a test just in case and opted for the dive through testing area, which is the most surreal experience. Everyone is in masks, it looks like a military base, everyone is flagging you through to the various check points. You stop several times to display a code you’ve received at the point of booking the appointment. They then scan codes to register your arrival. You pull in and are told which area to drive to; one side they test you, the other you self test. Because Darcy is so little I had to go to the self test area. I pull in they give me a number to call, I ring it and no one answers they scrabble around trying to get their phone working, it doesn’t work. I have to crack my window so they can tell me what to do as they can not direct me over their shit non-existent phones. They run through everything, drop a bag with all my test stuff through my cracked window. Everything falls out – they want me to check that everything is there, but it’s all over the car floor. I explain that I will need to open my door to pick it all up – everyone retreats whilst I open the door and scrabble around collecting up all the shit. Finally I get it all and shut my door, everyone returns, the guy who put the things so unceremoniously through my crack is all full of apologies. We run over everything and they tell me what I have to do. Simple really I have to swab the back of my daughters throat – right where her tonsils are, careful not to get her teeth or tongue. Then I have to swab both nostrils for 10 – 15 seconds on each side. Once completed put sample in test tube, seal test tube in bag, but sealed bag in another bag DON’T SEAL THAT BAG; then put my hazards on for them to come and check that everything is in the bag correctly through the window. I am not allowed to leave the car, I have to climb into the back, get my swabs, seal the bag -ONLY ONE- climb back in the front, put my hazards on and wait.
Swabbing a 16 month old who has a fever; has had little sleep and feels like shit takes a Herculean effort and a little wrestling knowledge….I succeeded. After a masked man inspected my bag I was told I could seal the second bag, he scanned my codes so it was all registered correctly and told me to drive to the final check point. The final check point is the exit barrier where a man comes out with a bin and asks me to throw my sample in, and essentially fuck off. It was a good job that I recently watched ‘The Last Dance’ on Netflix because I Micheal Jordan’ed his ass and got that bastard in in one.
All this had occurred before 11am this morning and luckily the test results came back super quick and she was negative for covid.
When I picked up the other 2 from school Frank’s highlight of the day was a new girl had started and his sausage roll at lunchtime was excellent. The overall return to school was terrible however, and he really just wanted to get on Minecraft.
Nancy’s proceeded to excitedly say: ‘hey mum, guess what I did at school today?…..a massive shit’
Another week of lockdown completed!!