With every one of my children, there has been at least one TV programme that becomes an obsession for them.
My son couldn’t get enough of Thomas the Tank Engine. In his games, he would often become a train and we would all be allocated characters from the show. I was James, his sister was Percy and dad was given the honour of being Gordon. If I’m honest, James was my least favourite engine but he was red and shiny so I went with it. The only real winner during this period was his little sister, who by being bestowed the honour of Percy, showed just how much he adored her.
My middle child loved Peppa Pig. We had it on repeat, she had golden Peppa Pig wellies and a giant Peppa cuddly toy that talked when you squeezed her. This obsession crashed to an end when we took her to Peppa Pig world and she got to meet a full-size Peppa (aka poor student taking on a summer job wearing a ridiculous pig costume) she just couldn’t handle it. It horrified her and she wouldn’t go anywhere near the sweaty mute Peppa whose excessive waving just freaked her out.
It’s true what they say, never meet your heroes!
My youngest is currently obsessed with a programme on Netflix called Cocomelon. Now, I’m not being dramatic when I say this, but this programme is ruining my life.
All kids TV has its annoyances, I mean Peppa Pig is possibly the most entitled obnoxious little pig I’ve ever had to deal with. But Cocomelon is systematically destroying my soul. The entire family on this programme are insipid and the songs! I’ll still be singing them when I’m dead. It’s up there with waterboarding and pulling fingernails.
Now I know that I could say no and not put it on – I know logically that I am in charge of this television destiny but, the problem with my youngest is that we all let her get her own way.
As a parent, I’m so tired and outnumbered that there isn’t enough energy left to fight her. She knows this and uses it to her advantage daily.
Her siblings also want an easy life and they, like us parents, know that deep down this little one is going to rule the roost. I think because the age gap is bigger they take very good care of her…this often results in her getting everything.
In a hilarious turn of events, she now refers to her brother as ‘Boy’. She often demands things from him after addressing him, very sternly, as ‘boy’ – much like an aristocratic Lady getting one of her servants to bring her high tea. The thing is, she can say everyone else’s names – and her brother’s name was one of the first words she learnt to say, she just prefers to call him ‘ boy’. She really is destined to be in charge of things.
But back to Cocomelon – if you’re fortunate enough to not know about it, then I beg of you to keep it that way. But if like me it’s too late for you, I want you to know that you’re not alone. This programme will steadily break away your sanity and leave you rocking silently back and forth in a dark room.
BUT, there’s hope. If my older two have taught me anything, it’s that all these phases end and what breaks you today will quickly be subbed out for something else to break you tomorrow. Take my older two kids, Thomas the Tank Engine and Peppa Pig have been replaced with the most annoying YouTubers known to the world. So, that’s something at least isn’t it?……