My social media memories have informed me that I’ve been writing this blog for a year now, this is quite a milestone moment for me as at first I really wasn’t sure how long it would last nor if anyone aside from me would actually enjoy it! A whole year has passed and I still seem to have enough content (and sanity) to keep producing something! (this fact alone is something that I am actually quite proud of)
The last 12 months have been completely and utterly insane. So much has happened in the last year that are so extraordinary that they have tested me emotionally on many levels. Everyone had a kicker of a 2020, but 2021 for my family hasn’t been much better. We lost someone so central and pivotal to our family set up at the start of this year that the last few months have been marred with sadness and grief. Knowing as well that the last year was largely dictated by the anxiety of keeping our loved ones safe. The fact that that was achieved for the most part by providing distance makes the grieving process that bit harder. The last year could have been so different and we could had expanded on and created so many more of the happy memories that we all shared together. But life, such as it is, had other ideas and sent us in another unfamiliar direction. This sobering fact is unfortunately just something that we will have to come to terms with. We are fortunate though with the knowledge of the quality time we spent together in the pre-covid world. This time together gave us all an abundance of wonderful unforgettable memories.
I know my family is not alone in this, many thousands of other families have experienced this and even if you haven’t experienced losses this year the physical absence and distance we have been subjected to has taught us all the importance of our family and friends.
I have been thinking back to my motivation of a year ago starting this blog, I needed an outlet and felt an urge to flex my creative bone mainly for my sanity. I was drowning in the responsibility of parenting 3 kids at very different educational and emotional stages during an enforced lockdown, that if I didn’t find something for me I would have gone quite mad. The collected anxiety that was felt all over the world in the midsts of this new terrifying virus that was spreading like wildfire, seemingly unchecked and unstoppable, sounded like the plot of blockbuster film. It still amazes me at how quickly we all adapted to the new way of living, how autonomous we all were. How quickly we wore masks everyday (and a select few finally learnt how to properly wash their dirty, dirty hands) We were told to make space, stay home protect the NHS and we did, we all did our bit and it was impressive how we all came together. Now a year on we have been told that as of May 17th we can hug again (put it in your diary guys!) and I’m actually going out to a pub with fellow adults for the first time in over a year next week (I’m sorry to all involved and any who I encounter!)
To top it off I had a text this morning inviting me to book my vaccine and the feeling of joy and relief it gave me took me by surprise! It feels like things are getting back on track, even though so much has changed over the past year. Everything feels different, the way we interact, the way we school, the way we work, the way we shop; I don’t think anything will really feel like it did in the pre-COVID-19 world, but change is a must and hopefully the changes, for the most part, can be positive.
Whilst I am so happy with how things are changing, there are a few things that are causing me a minor tailspin 1) the sheer disappointment of the reveal of ‘H’ in Line of Duty – bad form guys, bad form. And 2) my son is currently wearing school shoes in my size….he can literally give me hand me downs when he inevitably grows out of them in a week. We have also had to buy him mens pants and socks – meaning that I officially have a small man living in my house masquerading as my nine year old son. So what with my small man lodger and my covid vaccination things are definitely moving on, the ravaging of time continues and life, as it so often does, moves on and on. I just ask that the small man stays small a little bit longer – I just don’t know how to control the tailspin of having a medium sized man for a son!!