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I decided to clean my car out – it was getting that dirty that it was dangerously close to being condemned there was a smell that we just couldn’t identify and no amount of air fresheners would mask the shameful odour of neglect and lack of hygiene. If you ever needed to question your life choices re:children then cleaning out the car after possibly a year of dirt accumulation is a sure fire way to do this. Removing the dreaded isofix seats revealed what I can only describe as the Bermuda Triangle of my car. There were toys, lego cards, hair bands, money (not as much as I would have liked) a small beach worths of sand, half of the forest in leaves and mud and most worryingly several cheap nasty ‘cheese puff’ crisps that I had bought the kids well over a year ago. I knew it was over a year ago because the kids were so disappointed in the quality of these crisps that they did not stop talking about how awful they were. They also mention this truly horrific snack break every time we pass the shop where I bought them!! 

I am proud to call myself a feminist, I am all for equality and absolutely hate the injustices that inequality can manifest, I am also deeply hypocritical when it comes to certain jobs that I just delegate to the man in my life, this is where my feminist ideologies temporarily duck and cover, these jobs are:

1) putting out the bins, I hate it so fucking much!!

Quickly followed by:

2) the cleaning of our disgusting car.

I can count the number of times I have cleaned this car on one hand, but it really is a deeply satisfying  job once it is completed! I have achieved something today, and it is more than a startling realisation of how disgusting and gross my family are! My car now has a second lease of life and is looking and smelling absolutely fantastic. I know it will only last the smallest snatch of time and living in the forest as well as having 3 kids is just not conducive to a clean car, but for the here and now I could proudly offer you a lift, feeling no shame whatsoever at you entering the car, no fear that you’ll ask what that smell is ( still don’t know what it was, even after cleaning it top to bottom) No fear of the inevitable judgement that would come. By next month (or lets be completely honest – next week) the messy car will be back, the smell will undoubtedly return, and I will hope to high heaven that I don’t need to drive anyone outside of my disgusting family anywhere! 

 

N.B. the image used  is not my car – mine was much, much worse!!

 

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